Steve Alexander - New Season

Steve Alexander, one of the best midfielders to walk on to Deaks Lane in recent weeks, takes time to reflect on what has been and what will be. We caught up with him on the sofa.

We walked in to the back room at Deaks Lane to see how Steve Alexander, the captain of Ansty FC was preparing for the season ahead. As we approached the sofa, the ageing skipper was seemingly chanting some sort of growth incantation whilst waving a wand over both of his feet. It immediately got weird.

We asked Steve, what his main concerns were about the upcoming season. He replied "Its either too hot or too cold for football, too windy or not windy enough. The games are either too close or too far away. The bibs are not quite the right colour, the sausage rolls are a bit over cooked and I haven't got a f*****g Harry Potter tattoo".

In an attempt to pull Steve back around, we attempted to discuss the upcoming pre-season friendly against Horsted Keynes, which is the first he has been available to play due to other commitments seeing him finishing off his term at the school for witchcraft and wizardry.

Before we could get any further comment he burst in to tears and attempted to run off.